It is such a miracle when babies take their first breaths. I have never trusted miracles, though, so I like to double check. That’s why somebody is always with the twins—to make sure that this breathing miracle is continuing. This is possible thanks in large part to our night nanny, ie The Goddess of the Night. But even Goddesses need a night off now and then so it became my job the other evening to sit up for the breathing vigil.
About three in the morning I found faith. Four bright eyes were looking at me, so alert that there was no chance of sleep, let alone cessation of breath. I closed my eyes in relief—and opened them, wide, an hour later, to find four little eyes still looking at me, anxious, wondering if I were still breathing…
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
New Subjects for BSchool Emails
Business school professor:
“The pictures are great. Looks like they are really enjoying life, which is terrific. It doesn’t get any better than it is right now.”
Me:
i have a feeling it is very frustrating to be a baby.
Business school professor:
Not as frustrating as it is to be an adult.
Me:
imagine if you were not just housebound but crib bound and put in a swaddle/straight jacket every time somebody else decided you were or should be tired...all you could do when you were sitting in your own poop is wail, which could be misinterpreted so instead of getting cleaned up you get food you don't want shoved in your mouth or shushed or sung to by somebody who can't even begin to carry a tune or your swaddle/straight jacket gets tightened...and imagine that you were doubling in size every two months; i think that people get weepy in the face of childhood and imagine that they are longing for some sort of blessed state when in fact they are weeping at very painful repressed memories of what it's like to be a baby. i'm doing my best to make it as comfortable as possible for them, but they can't wait to grow up and i can't blame them :)
Business school professor:
All this sounds good to me. by the way, I’m available for adoption.
“The pictures are great. Looks like they are really enjoying life, which is terrific. It doesn’t get any better than it is right now.”
Me:
i have a feeling it is very frustrating to be a baby.
Business school professor:
Not as frustrating as it is to be an adult.
Me:
imagine if you were not just housebound but crib bound and put in a swaddle/straight jacket every time somebody else decided you were or should be tired...all you could do when you were sitting in your own poop is wail, which could be misinterpreted so instead of getting cleaned up you get food you don't want shoved in your mouth or shushed or sung to by somebody who can't even begin to carry a tune or your swaddle/straight jacket gets tightened...and imagine that you were doubling in size every two months; i think that people get weepy in the face of childhood and imagine that they are longing for some sort of blessed state when in fact they are weeping at very painful repressed memories of what it's like to be a baby. i'm doing my best to make it as comfortable as possible for them, but they can't wait to grow up and i can't blame them :)
Business school professor:
All this sounds good to me. by the way, I’m available for adoption.
Monday, May 18, 2009
No Eye Contact
“Don’t make eye contact!!!” I scream-whispered to Danelia, my housekeeper, who had the temerity to come into the nursery and squat down to greet the baby staring up at her.
Danelia leaped back from the wide-eyed two month old, mouth agape. I could see what she was thinking: You need to avoid eye contact with certain wild animals (bears or lions?) in order to avoid being eaten alive. In an encounter with a gun-weilding, drug-crazed mugger, you’d want to avoid eye contact. But your nine pound baby…why are you so afraid of what might happen if I make eye contact with her. She has no teeth, no gun. It is perfectly safe to make eye contact with your baby. So what you must really mean is that you are afraid of swine flu. You think I have been shaking hands with Mexicans even though I am not from Mexico, I am from Nicaragua. You Americans cannot keep anything beyond your borders straight!
I hastened to explain my whole rationale. And, believe me, I had my reasons. I am always one to do my homework, so before giving birth, I read up on how to put a baby to sleep. I learned that the most important thing, perhaps the only thing that all the experts agree on, is this: NO EYE CONTACT.
Pediatrician Weissbluth warns about this. The Extreme Nanny Gina Ford forbids eye contact. A Google search reveals 1.39 million results, all of them with the same advice: “The most powerful wake-up activity is direct eye contact,” explains one site. “Parents who make eye contact with sleepy babies inadvertently encourage them to snap out of their sleep zone,” warns another site.
“You see, eye contact is a powerful wake-up signal,” I explained.
Danelia looked at me, still unimpressed.
Well, it wasn’t just the eye contact thing. It was also that my babies had reached the significant age of eight weeks. I had read was that at two months babies become VERY SOCIAL. They are likely to miss out on sleep, one book explained, “for the pleasure of your company.” It was my job to moderate for my babies the pleasure of my company, and that of other company.
“And now that they are two months old, they are getting really social.”
Danelia looked at me. Then she looked at my daughter, a tiny scrap of flesh wrapped in a swaddle, so much like a frog burrito with pacifier.
Dangerous to make eye contact with her…very social.
The look of bemusement on Danelia’s face gave me the first sense of perspective I’d had since giving birth. I had become yet another Crazy Mother.
Danelia leaped back from the wide-eyed two month old, mouth agape. I could see what she was thinking: You need to avoid eye contact with certain wild animals (bears or lions?) in order to avoid being eaten alive. In an encounter with a gun-weilding, drug-crazed mugger, you’d want to avoid eye contact. But your nine pound baby…why are you so afraid of what might happen if I make eye contact with her. She has no teeth, no gun. It is perfectly safe to make eye contact with your baby. So what you must really mean is that you are afraid of swine flu. You think I have been shaking hands with Mexicans even though I am not from Mexico, I am from Nicaragua. You Americans cannot keep anything beyond your borders straight!
I hastened to explain my whole rationale. And, believe me, I had my reasons. I am always one to do my homework, so before giving birth, I read up on how to put a baby to sleep. I learned that the most important thing, perhaps the only thing that all the experts agree on, is this: NO EYE CONTACT.
Pediatrician Weissbluth warns about this. The Extreme Nanny Gina Ford forbids eye contact. A Google search reveals 1.39 million results, all of them with the same advice: “The most powerful wake-up activity is direct eye contact,” explains one site. “Parents who make eye contact with sleepy babies inadvertently encourage them to snap out of their sleep zone,” warns another site.
“You see, eye contact is a powerful wake-up signal,” I explained.
Danelia looked at me, still unimpressed.
Well, it wasn’t just the eye contact thing. It was also that my babies had reached the significant age of eight weeks. I had read was that at two months babies become VERY SOCIAL. They are likely to miss out on sleep, one book explained, “for the pleasure of your company.” It was my job to moderate for my babies the pleasure of my company, and that of other company.
“And now that they are two months old, they are getting really social.”
Danelia looked at me. Then she looked at my daughter, a tiny scrap of flesh wrapped in a swaddle, so much like a frog burrito with pacifier.
Dangerous to make eye contact with her…very social.
The look of bemusement on Danelia’s face gave me the first sense of perspective I’d had since giving birth. I had become yet another Crazy Mother.
Baby Jazz
Baby Jazz is where I put the twins, who are now two months old, in little bouncy seats on the floor. I sit on the couch and rock the bouncies, and if I get just the right tempo, the result is the thing I most long for in my life right now—silence. Get the tempo wrong, I get wailing and gnashing of gums. Get the tempo wrong for too long and I get the thing I most dread in my life right now—The Over Tired State.
Exotic Vacation
When it came time to take the babies home, I was terrified in a very familiar way. When was the last time I’d felt this way? I racked my brains and came up with the sensation of learning that I could not leave the Soviet Union earlier than planned because I did not have an exit visa. Not that I didn’t love being there. But it was an Exotic Vacation. I’d never intended to stay there permanently, and the idea that I couldn’t just up and leave and return to my former life was terrifying.
I realized that I’d approached the birth of my children like an Exotic Vacation. Not comfortable or relaxing but very, very interesting. The spinal tap was interesting—the absence of feeling below the chest, given my assurance that feeling would return in a few hours. Being sliced open while fully awake was interesting; with the assurance that I’d be sewn back up in a few minutes. Having two babies pulled screaming and sneezing out of me was the high of a lifetime. When both of them were sucking hungrily at my breasts an hour later, I understood the power of the life force as never before.
But then five days later I was taking these two little creatures home with me. But what had been New was now Permanent.
I realized that I’d approached the birth of my children like an Exotic Vacation. Not comfortable or relaxing but very, very interesting. The spinal tap was interesting—the absence of feeling below the chest, given my assurance that feeling would return in a few hours. Being sliced open while fully awake was interesting; with the assurance that I’d be sewn back up in a few minutes. Having two babies pulled screaming and sneezing out of me was the high of a lifetime. When both of them were sucking hungrily at my breasts an hour later, I understood the power of the life force as never before.
But then five days later I was taking these two little creatures home with me. But what had been New was now Permanent.
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