New Subjects for BSchool Emails

Business school professor:
“The pictures are great. Looks like they are really enjoying life, which is terrific. It doesn’t get any better than it is right now.”

Me:
i have a feeling it is very frustrating to be a baby.

Business school professor:
Not as frustrating as it is to be an adult.

Me:
imagine if you were not just housebound but crib bound and put in a swaddle/straight jacket every time somebody else decided you were or should be tired...all you could do when you were sitting in your own poop is wail, which could be misinterpreted so instead of getting cleaned up you get food you don't want shoved in your mouth or shushed or sung to by somebody who can't even begin to carry a tune or your swaddle/straight jacket gets tightened...and imagine that you were doubling in size every two months; i think that people get weepy in the face of childhood and imagine that they are longing for some sort of blessed state when in fact they are weeping at very painful repressed memories of what it's like to be a baby. i'm doing my best to make it as comfortable as possible for them, but they can't wait to grow up and i can't blame them :)

Business school professor:
All this sounds good to me. by the way, I’m available for adoption.